The Chameleon in the Carnival
by inquiete
Summary: Caroline Flint Jackson, born Alexander Flint Jackson III is beaten to death while walking to work from a youth center. She wakes up only to find herself dead in a Devil's Carnival. Only one problem-she shouldn't be there-she has done nothing on earth to deserve such a fate-other than be an example of God's fallibility. So Lucifer gives her a choice: join the Carnival or burn.


**OK, a while ago I made a headcanon about a trans-woman being sent to Hell 'cause God is a Transphobic dick even though she did nothing to deserve being sent there. So, pissed at God 'cause...well obvious reasons, Lucifer says, "fuck this!" and makes her a Carny. The idea piqued my interest enough that I decided to write a fanfic about it. Now of course, I believe that the "lgbtq are damned" mentality is utter bullshit, so it was really important to me to emphasis that here. Hence the reason why Lucifer sits her down and explains that "none of this is your fault-there is nothing wrong with you-God's the one who fucked up." So I hope that one one here misinterprets my intentions, I swear I wrote this with good intentions. Ok, now that that's cleared up...**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any of this. TDC belongs to Terrance, Darren, and Saar and I would never want to take that from them. The only character that is mine is Caroline the Chameleon.**

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 ** _Enjoy!_ **

The Chameleon in the Carnival

"Good is Evil and Heaven, Hell," -Holy Hell, _Holy Water_

Caroline grunted as she felt the kicks and punches of the boys attacking her. She had just left the LGBTQ center and was going over to the soup kitchen she volunteered at when she noticed them following her out of the corner of her eye. The Burrow Boys: they were a local gang that liked to harass and bully the LGBTQ kids in town. Caroline cursed under her breathe, she should have taken Mr. Herbert's offer to drive her, but the soup kitchen wasn't far and she hated taking up so much of Mr. Herbert's time. He had already done so much for her already…Caroline grasped the pendent that hung around her neck. If he was to be believed then she wouldn't have to go back to the orphanage again soon…

Caroline was born Alexander Flint Jackson III, only child of Alexander and Amanda Jackson business tycoons. Caroline's grandfather (Alexander Hunter Jackson) had been an entrepreneur and had started what would become a multi-million dollar business when he was 24-a business that Caroline's father had inherited. A business that Caroline was expected to inherit, but at age 13 she had told her parents that she had no interest in the family business and would much rather go into arts instead (fashion or interior decorating Caroline was still debating). Needless to say Caroline's parents were…disappointed. But things got worse when her family caught her cross-dressing a year later. When Caroline couldn't come up with a "rational" reason as to why she was wearing one of her mother's dresses, heels, and makeup. They sent her to an adoption home least their wealthy business friends realize what a fuckup their only son was and they are scandalized-but not before telling Caroline that she was going to burn in hell for her actions.

That was close to three years ago and Caroline has lived at the orphanage ever since. An orphanage run by a married couple almost as homophobic as Caroline's parents. But fortunately, Mr. Herbert promised to adopt her, so soon she will be away from all of this. It was just a matter of paperwork…

"Hey, Alexander!" one of the Barrow Boys shouted. "Where you going, Jackson?" Caroline gritted her teeth and kept walking refusing to give them the satisfaction.

"Aw, what's the matter, Jackson?" Another asked. "Don't got time for us, faggot? You too good for us or something?"

 _Don't engage, don't engage_ Caroline repeated the advice Mr. Herbert gave the teens. _Just ignore them and they'll go away, if not get to a place you can get help or call the police._

"Hey Alexander, catch!" A boy sent a piece of asphalt soaring through the air, hitting Caroline square in the back of the head causing her to fall to the ground, grasping her bleeding skull. "Get 'im!" They raced over to Caroline and started beating her with fists, legs, pipes, and switch blades.

"Stop! Stop!" Caroline begged, covering her face and hands, but they ignored her. They ripped her dress off, tore off her stuffed bra, and kicked her in the groin.

"You think you're a lady? Ha! You're not a woman and you're not a man either-you're a freak."

Soon their voices faded into an incoherent blur and around the sounds of thrashing Caroline heard a voice sing. "Heaven's all around you when you haven't got a care."

Caroline scrunched her nose in confusion. "Is anyone there? Help me please, help me!"

"…When the Morningstar/Burning from Afar/Enters into view/What am I to do…"

"Hello?!"

"And when the spirit turns/To the night adjourns/Bidding no ado (Bidding no ado)…"

"Please…help…"

"Heaven's all around you!"

The last thing Caroline heard before blacking out was this deep, warm laughter echoing through her head. When Caroline woke up she was laying on a dirt floor in what looked like a carnival's tent. "What the…" she began only to stop upon hearing her voice. That wasn't her voice-that voice was decidedly…feminine. And Caroline hadn't been able to afford the hormones yet…there was no way her voice could sound like that. Caroline looked up to notice that there were mirrors all around the tents walls. And what she saw gave her a start. There was a woman looking back at her in those mirrors, a beautiful woman with a long cascade of chestnut hair, full lips, and a voluptuous body. "Oh…my…God…" She gasped touching her face and body to check that the body she saw in the mirror was indeed her. "Oh shit, I'm dead." The reality of it hit like a cold certainty through Caroline. This was not her body, she hadn't gone through the sex-change yet. They wouldn't have done it without her consent, while she was passed out, and after just getting beaten up. No, Caroline Flint Jackson, was dead. The Barrow Boys had beaten her…to death.

Caroline sobbed, both simultaneously mourning her mortal life, and feeling joy over what she saw in the mirror. "I knew I was a woman." She murmured. "Thank you God…thank you."

She stumbled out of the tent and made her way out into this strange land she found herself in. Soon Caroline found herself coming up to a ticket booth that stood in front of a gate. The man that stood behind the booth gave her a cursory glance, as if he had seen a hundred like her and would see a hundred more-as if they were all the same to him. "Hello, ticket please?" He requested in a considerate tone.

"Oh, right…" She murmured looking in her dress pockets and found an envelope that contained a ticket in it. She handed it over.

"Outstanding…" he started but before he could continue Caroline interrupted.

"Are you St. Peter?" She asked.

The Ticket-Keeper jerked in surprise, almost dropping the ticket in his shock. " _Excuse me_?" He demanded.

"You know, St. Peter." Caroline repeated patiently. "The one saint dude that stands in front of Heaven's gate with the Heavenly naughty or nice list…or whatever. Are you St. Peter, or are you another angel…or something." The Ticket-Keeper didn't answer just stared at her with his mouth hung open. He stood like that for so long that Caroline was starting to feel uncomfortable. "You know what…never mind. I guess it doesn't matter. I was just wandering if I could have a word with your boss."

"My boss…" The Ticket-Keeper said dumb-founded. He had an idea of where this was going, but he wanted to make sure.

"Mm hmm." Caroline nodded eagerly. "Yeah I know it must be a bit unorthodox for a lowly soul like me getting to talk to the big G, but I just want to thank him in person." Caroline beamed up at the horrified Ticket-Keeper and hugged her middle. "I always knew I was really a girl-that I had been put in the wrong body-and now everything's how it should be. I just want to thank him for giving me…this." Caroline dropped her arms and frowned. "I also want to thank him for not giving up on me. Everyone kept telling me that God hated me because of what I am, told me that there was something wrong with me, told me that I was a freak, and going to Hell." Caroline shook the dark thoughts from her mind. "But turns out they were wrong. I'm just the way God wants me to be, and He loves me just the way I am. And I want to thank Him for that-can I?"

Finally Caroline's excited babble tumbled to a stop, and she noticed the look on the Ticket-Keeper's face-which was a cross between scared and pitying. "W-what's wrong?" she asked, "why are you so pale?"

"What's your name, child?" He asked.

"Caroline. Caroline Flint Jackson…birth name Alexander Flint Jackson III." She replied hesitantly.

The Ticket-Keeper shook his head, consulting some paperwork. "This isn't right-you shouldn't be here."

Caroline's eyes widened-misunderstanding. "WHAT!? Why?! What did I do wrong?" Before he could answer she shouted, "But I've been GOOD! I swear, I've never cursed, or hurt anyone, or-or even taken the Lord's name in vain or NOTHING! I-I-I try to be the best I can be…even to my parents. Please." Tears ran down Caroline's face. "Please don't turn me away, if you guys can't accept me…than….than no one can…and…and…please! You'll see I'll be the best citizen in all of Heaven, do you guys have citizenships? Anyway it doesn't matter, I'll do whatever you guys want, just don't send me away…please."

The Ticket-Keeper looked back towards the Carnival anxiously. "This isn't good. You shouldn't be here. The boss isn't going to be happy about this."

Hurt Caroline demanded, "But why?!"  
He turned those pitying eyes on her again, "My child, do you know where you are?"

The question caused Caroline to pause. The truth was…she didn't-not really. When she woke up and saw her reflection she had assumed…and she really hadn't paid attention to her surroundings. She paid attention to them now. She looked around taking in every detail, than she slowly looked up at the gate. Above her head was a sign that looked almost like a devilish clown, she took the ticket out of the Ticket-Keeper's hand-he didn't stop her. " _The Devil's Carnival_?" She read incredulously. "Is this some sort of joke?"

"Yes well," He looked slightly uncomfortable. "I'm afraid you've had…quite a fall."

Shock flowed through Caroline, followed quickly by rage. "Yeah, no shit." She spat, tossing the ticket onto the floor.

Ticket-Keeper sighed, "Littering is against the rules."  
"Fuck 'em." She snapped, crushing the ticket under her foot for emphasis. "You're shitting me right? I'm in fucking Hell?! For what?" He opened his mouth to reply, but she kept barreling on. "It's for being Trans right? I can't fucking believe this! Of all fucking people my _mother_ was right! So you mean to tell me 'cause God's some sort of homophobe I'm stuck down here with _Satan_!?"

The Ticket-Keeper flinched. "We don't call him that down here. His name's Lucifer. He-"

"Don't care." Caroline replied, backing away. "I don't have to put up with this-this is bullshit. I'm getting out of here."

The Ticket-Keeper shook his head. "You can't-I'm sorry, but you can't leave-the elevator is only one way. But if you come with me-I can take you to see the boss-he can take care of you. He'll make sure you feel more at home, and…"

"Fuck off!" Caroline shouted, than she turned on her heel and ran away. The Ticket-Keeper sighed, and left to go get Lucifer. He'd calm her down-he always did.

…

The Ticket-Keeper entered Lucifer's chambers and made his way over to where Lucifer sat in front of his vanity mirror. "Sire," the Ticket-Keeper said. "We have a slight problem." Lucifer glanced up at his oldest friend and cocked an eyebrow expectantly. "One of the new arrivals…she…well, I think you'll want to see this for yourself."

…

Caroline ran frantically through this Hellish Carnival, her feet landed with a harsh _thud_ on the gravel path in front of her, and her breathe came out in panicked pants. That ticket guy wasn't joking, Caroline scored the entire area around the entrance and she found nothing; nothing but dead ends, abandoned Carnival props, and a broken elevator. With nowhere left to go Caroline gave a cry of fear and despair, and made her way inside the entrance to…The Devil's Carnival.

Now Caroline made her way through the Hellion landscape around her ignoring the calls and jeers of the Carnies around her. They beckoned her to join them, laughed at her obvious sign of distress, and whispered empty promises to her.

"Come stay a spell," One Carny with snake's skin coaxed. "Let me offer you a drink-let me take off a few ends."

"Hey, babe." A knife-thrower with a scorpion's tattoo called. "You lost? I can give you directions…trust me."

"NO!" Caroline shouted desperately, "Just leave me alone Hell-Spawn!" Which caused another round of riotous laughter from the Carnies. Caroline kept running until her legs finally gave out, and she collapsed onto the floor in front of a wooden structure. The Carnies started to move towards her in anticipation, until the door opened and two figures stepped out-then they scattered-hanging back. Caroline glanced up to see the elder gentleman from earlier come out along with…Caroline's mind frizzed out-refusing to acknowledge what she saw. He was tall, with skin as red as fresh blood and horns raised defiantly towards the sky. As he approached he watched her thoughtfully-a mix of curiosity and sympathy in his eyes. Caroline screamed, "NO! No, you stay the Hell away from me!" She started to drag herself backwards on her hands and knees trying to escape. Lucifer opened his mouth to speak, but she shouted over him. "Satan! Villain! Deceiver! You stay the Hell away from me you-you monster!"

Lucifer sighed, "Let's leave off the name calling for right now, alright? I'm not going to hurt you, no one is going to hurt you." He added, giving his Carnies a hard look. They shifted their weight nervously, trying to hide their disappointment at this news. "Now if you'll just relax a moment we can talk…"

"Fuck off!" Caroline instructed, standing up to run. Lucifer nodded at the Twin and he stepped out to block Caroline's exit before she could flee again. "Gah! Let me go you-you freak!" Caroline demanded trying to wrestle out of his arms. The Twin made no show that her words affected him-just turned her around so she was facing the boss. "Stay away from me you-you-you…"

"Yes, you already said all that already." Lucifer snapped, impatience creeping into his voice. "Can we skip this part? I've already told you I'm not going to hurt you."

Caroline laughed bitterly. "HA! As if I'd believe anything you say. I know all about you, you know? They told us about you in church." Lucifer rolled his eyes, but before he could speak Caroline kept going. "You're a liar, and a monster. You rebelled against God! And now you take pleasure in perverting his most favorite creation-humans-and tempting them to sin. And then you punish them for it-just to get back at God-because you were jealous that He loved man more than-"

"Enough!" Lucifer snapped, causing the Carnies to flinch. "Enough! I don't want to hear HIS propaganda. I do _not_ make anyone do anything! I only offer choices, Caroline, choices. And I deal with the guilty-I punish the guilty." Lucifer blew air out through his nose-trying to calm down. "And that's what I want to offer you, my dear, a choice."

Caroline froze in shock, "Me? A choice? What are you talking about?"

A smirk tugged at the corner of Lucifer's lips. "Oh, now you want to hear what I have to say?" Lucifer chuckled softly, "You shouldn't be here Caroline. Like I said, I only deal with the guilty, and save for a few…minor…transgressions-you are not guilty. You've certainly never done anything to _deserve_ to be my guest. You don't belong here."

Caroline groaned in frustration. "Then fine, kick me out, make me leave. Send me to Heaven, or back to Earth…or whatever."

Lucifer clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Can't. The elevator only goes one way-so I can't send you to Heaven. And Earth well…" Lucifer scoffed. "I'm afraid resurrection isn't my specialty."

Caroline pierced her lips in frustration. "Then what choice are you talking about?"

Now Lucifer did smirk, "Work for me."

Caroline's jaw dropped, "You're fucking joking, right?"

He shook his head, "Deadly serious."

Caroline laughed, "Okay, what's the catch? Are there hidden cameras around? You honestly expect me to work for you…the Author of All Evil? Seriously?"

Lucifer sighed, "OK, you're hesitant. I get that. But keep this in mind: I'm not the one that sent you here, you've got the Almighty Tyrant to thank for that."

"Well…I'm sure He had a good reason…"

Lucifer threw his head back and laughed…and laughed…and laughed…and... "Good reason? Yeah _sure_ , you want to know what that reason is? To protect His _precious_ image."

"What?" Caroline shook her head. "It's because I'm Trans isn't it?" She repeated. "My parents…and the caretakers at the orphanage…they warned me. Said that what I was…wasn't natural-that by insisting that I'm a girl I'm going against God's will…God's design. That I…"

The look of pity returned to Lucifer's eyes. "Caroline…" He sighed walking a few feet closer before sitting down on the steps outside of his chambers. "Twin let her go," he instructed in a tired voice. "She won't go anywhere…not now." Hesitantly the Twin did as he was ask, Caroline didn't flee. Lucifer folded his hands together into a pyramid. "Caroline…there is nothing wrong with you…do you understand me? There is _nothing_ wrong with you. Your parents, and all the cowards like them, they were wrong. You are exactly as you were meant to be. Why do you think you look like this?" Lucifer asked, motioning towards her image. "You have no physical body-the shell you left behind is decomposing on Earth. You look like a woman down here because your soul-your essence-is that of a woman. You _are_ a woman."

Caroline slowly sank to her knees across from Lucifer. It was either that or fall on her ass as her knees had gone out in shock. Lucifer sighed, and messaged the bridge of his nose. "Dammit! The things the wretched bastard does to soothe His own ego." When he saw the confused look on Caroline's face he explained. "God makes a business out of making people think that He is infallible-that He never makes a mistake. That everything that happens is…" Lucifer's lips curled into a sneer, "…part of His _plan_." Lucifer made a noise of disgust. "That is utter bullshit! _No one_ is infallible, especially not Him.

"You are a perfect example of this. _He_ made a mistake, _He_ screwed up. There's nothing wrong with _you_ ; _He_ just screwed you over." Lucifer pointed at Caroline. "You are a woman. Your soul is that of a woman. However, when making the mold for your physical body He screwed up and made a male shell. Realizing this too late to fix anything He just left you, washed His hands clean of you, and abandoned you to live your life. Now that you're dead He sent you down here." Lucifer shook his head, "not because you belong here, not because you did anything to deserve being sent here, but because He can't afford to have you be seen in Heaven."

Caroline pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. "Why? Why can't I be seen? What would be so wrong with that?"

Lucifer shot her an amused look. "To me? I think letting them see you would be a great idea. But to God? It wouldn't go well for the wool He's trying to pull over His...supplicants…eyes. You, my dear, are proof that God can make mistakes that not everything is part of some grand scheme, that He's fallible, and that He's not in control of every situation like they think. And the second they realize that…" A glim that Caroline couldn't quite identify shone in Lucifer's eyes. "…They'll start _questioning_ Him, _doubting_ Him. And maybe…just maybe…they'll even reject Him." He sighed in content at the thought and, tipping his head up to include the Ticket-Keeper, asked, "Hell, wouldn't that be great?"

The Carnies laughed in agreement and the Ticket-Keeper said, "It would certainly be a refreshing improvement."

"Quite." Lucifer agreed standing up, "which brings us back to you, Caroline. As much as I would _love_ to send you upstairs to flaunt God's mistakes in His face that's not an option…right now." The Ticket-Keeper shot him a confused glance at the wording, but didn't interrupt. "So which do you choose? To become a member of the Carnival, or to remain one of our…honored guests. Though know if you choose the later you'll receive the same treatment as any other guest-as there are no favorites in Hell."

Caroline paused, thinking. "And just to be clear _you_ don't think I'm a freak right? Even though I was put in the wrong…shell or whatever you don't think I'm disgusting? Do You?"

Lucifer shook his head.

Caroline smiled, "then I would be honored join your 'merry bunch of misfits'" She said, using the term her grandmother used to describe the carny clowns she took Caroline to see when she was ten.

"Excellent!" Lucifer clapped his hands together in approval. "I'm glad to hear it. Now we just need a Carny name for you, something that reflects you."

Caroline pondered this, "Well my friends at school used to call me Chameleon 'cause I could adapt and blend with my surroundings."

"I like it: Caroline the Chameleon." Lucifer offered the little chameleon his hand. "Welcome to my Carnival, Chameleon." A thought popped into the Chameleon's head, and after giving Lucifer a saucy smile she took it. When he pulled her up she stepped into him and with no hesitation or fear of repercussions-she kissed the Dark Lord on the mouth-biting down enough to draw blood before stepping back. Lucifer laughed and wiped the blood from his mouth. He gave her a lust-fueled once-over before spinning her around and with the flare of a true showman presented her to the rest of the Carnival. The Carnies cheered and applaud at the induction of their newest sister-in-arms, and as the Chameleon soaked up the praise of her new family Lucifer murmured into her ear, "Welcome home, Caroline." And for the first time she truly felt like she was, indeed, home.

 **Quick side note: Before anyone points out in the reviews that he sent John back in TDC and a bunch-load back in Alleluia! so why can't he send Caroline back. I would like to quick explain a theory I have. See I think that he couldn't send souls back to Heaven until a sinner found redemption, or at least let go of their guilt, IN Hell. I mean, think about it, if Lucifer had the ability to send souls to Heaven whenever he wanted, and he knew it would piss God off why didn't he do it sooner. And why would God leave him with the ability to do so? Isn't He supposed to be omnipotent and all-powerful and all that jazz? So I think that Lucifer couldn't send souls back until one gave him an opening (i.e. finding redemption in his realm after it was "supposedly" to late.) And that soul happened to be John. So that's my reason for why both he and the Ticket-Keeper kept insisting that they couldn't send her to Heaven. Agree with it or disagree with it, it's up to you. :)**


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